10. Summer trip goes from Auckland Cruise to Habanna Inn, Oklahoma City. Relax, you’ll have just as much fun.
9. You find yourself passing on the CVS gift card aisle despite the perfect card for Aunt Sherry is staring straight at you!
8. You enter a Wal-Mart and don’t burst into flames.
7. Your new house wine is Strawberry Hill.
6. You’ve traded in your little yippie dog for a lot less yippee BF.
5. Lesbians are not waiting to second date to move in with each other, but plan it someone time after the “Hi, my name is Pam” and “We’ll have the shrimp appetizers”.
4. You cruise the IHOP rather than the bars.
3. You pretend to be an alcoholic so you have someplace to be on Friday night.
2. You’re not afraid to be seen holding hands in Macon, Georgia. It replaces gym fees.
And the number One Sign You May Be in a Gay Recession....
One.... You’ve cut down on mani/pedi until your BF refuses to play “Push My Buttons”... at least the fun kind, anyway.